“Twilight” and “New Moon” by Stephanie Meyer
Here’s my confession: I hate the “Twilight” series. It has some of the worse writing I have ever read.
I’ve spent several evenings trying to get through the whole thing. I managed the first book, “Twilight.” I tried the second book, “New Moon,” but I could only stand about one-third of it. I wanted to like it–or at least get through all four books–because so many students like it, because I guess the whole world, except me, likes it.
But, seriously, what good is a vampire boyfriend? I’m thinking Edward is perfect for teen girls because he is dangerous, what with his ability to suck the life out of Bella, but he’s harmless, too, because he has to stay away from her and not make sexual advances since it’s too risky. So I guess if I were younger, I’d think of this as a sort of pure, magical love, too. But having been around boys (and later men) who suck the life out of people, I’ve learned that they just aren’t so much fun to hang out with as you might think they would be.
Bella, as a character, is even worse than Edward. Whine, whine, whine–oh, she does stop for frequent klutzy maneuvers that put everyone in danger. But it doesn’t take her long to get back to pouting. ‘Oh, poor me, it’s my 18th birthday and people want to celebrate it and give me flowers and plan a party–how thoughtless! Why can’t they just let me emo my way through the day? Waa, waa–why don’t I get to be an undead, icy vampire who has to suck fresh blood to exist?’
And the writing! Stephanie Meyer is the Queen of the Adverb. He ‘coldly’ this, he ‘coldly’ that. I can’t figure out what’s thrilling about Edward coldly kissing Bella. I know they have this pure love, but I’m guessing that at some point they’ll marry. With Edward being the undead ice king that he is, if this marriage should include any intimacy, I hope there’s someone nearby with an ice pick and a super hot hair dryer.
So–I want to be enlightened. And I have three prizes to offer to any COHS students who can make a good go of it. Make a comment–tell me why you love this book. I’ll pick the three best answers (totally arbitrary–my opinion) and give these prizes:
Third: A biography (book) of the actor who plays Edward
Second: A “Twilight” poster
First: A book about the making of the “Twilight” movie–lots of color photos and star interviews.